honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
