OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Randomize
