and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Randomize
