My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
