I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
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