Do vagina's smell?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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