Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize