she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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