She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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