Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Still dying that you shit outside
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
