My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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