i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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