Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
