So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
