What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
