Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize