oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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