I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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