I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
