considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
