end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
