CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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