So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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