So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
