the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
