its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
