just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize