thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize