I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize