My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
