I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
