I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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