My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
