I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize