Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
