It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
