Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
