The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
