If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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