So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize