I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Come on in and take your pants off
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