She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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