My first STD was from a foam party
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Randomize
