; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
