I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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