I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
