i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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