I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
