No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
