i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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