I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
