Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
