Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
