i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
