dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
too bad you live with your parents still
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
