Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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